Home Sweet Home

So, I have been home for a couple of days now and all I've done is sleep and weave. It feels weird having a break. I don't know what to do with myself. As a result, I have gotten no less than 12 hours a sleep each day. In between the sleeping and the weaving I have noticed that my family has been a littled stressed out and that they don't share my energetic joy. I realize that it is unrealistic to expect them to sync their feelings with mine, but where is the holiday cheer? I need to sprinkle some happy dust on them.

One Gaint Cookie

Today I found an awesome consignment book store. It had just what I was looking for--the perfect present for someone. No need to guess what that was, I give really similair gifts. I was tempted to stay longer, but was obligated to something else. After my obligation and lunch, I returned to shopping, but I just couldn't find the perfect gift for my parents. I looked in the bookstore, tried the farmers market, and ended up in the knitting store. The knitting store was my giving up point/treat to myself. I bought some yarn to do some weaving. The store was a local one and had a homely feeling. I was greeted by a group of ladies enjoying lunch when I entered this house turned store. For the first time I really felt like I was apart of Charleston. I had visited two local places in one day. After delivering the present I bought and wrapped in tissue paper and police caution tape, I spent the rest of the day cleaning. I cleaned my room, Stephan's kitchen, and then the gaint cookie happened. It is so big that it needs its own paragraph.

So while cleaning Stephan's kitchen, someone gets the brilliant plan to get rid of the tub of cookie dough in their fridge before leaving for home. So I baked about two batches before that person suggested another brilliant plan--making one gaint cookie. So we lured everyone in to watch a movie and enjoy the gaint cookie with us! It is amazing how a gaint cookie can bring people together... Oh dear God where will we be years from now. There has to be a reason for creating a bond like this. How will these people affect me? How will I affect them? Why are we all here enjoying this cookie together? Can they taste You in it? Will they taste You in it? Will the baker always remember to stop to enjoy the cookie for themself? Are they aware of the unexpected ingredient? Love.

Bon Appetit

Purple Rain

While my title has nothing to do with how my day went, my life feels like the guitar solo of that song right now. There is some intense excitement, vocal relief, and yet a nice melody to follow with the routine beat on the drum. So how does this parallel? Well, I can't explain the excitement that I feel now that exams are over and I can have some mental relief. That feeling was followed by time with friends who lent their comfort, and now I can fall back into my routine. Before this my day consisted of:

6:30 am- up studying for French exam
8:00 am-10:00 am - French exam
10:00am-11:45am - studying for astronomy exam
12:00pm -2:00pm- astronomy quiz and exam
2:00pm-3:45pm- revising a 6 page paper that was due at 5
3:45pm-4:00pm- printing the paper in the library
4:05pm-4:30pm- turning paper in at teacher's office

This is where my day starts going into that solo. Not only was I done, but I discovered that I made an A on my British Literature exam that I took earlier this week when I went to turn in my paper. I will have to admit that it was a tempting factor for luring me to major in English, but I just smiled humbly wishing I were taking another English class in my near future. I feel comfortable with my major. After all, what is better than learning English, but teaching it. I must say my teacher's bragging was a little bit of a confidence boost. I will have to swing by to visit her some time to talk about literature, whenever I am being deprived of it next semester.
Oh yeah...back to the schedule:

4:30pm-5:00pm- watching videos on youtube with Jacob
5:00pm-6:00pm- public library with Jacob and Erica (I saw my fill-in astronomy teacher there with his daughter. I always feel fuzzy inside whenever I see the human side of my insructors, especially when they are spending time with their children. This is proof I should be a teacher. I smile a little inside everytime a see a family especially when it is children experiencing one-on-one time with one of the parents.)
6:00pm-7:00pm- dinner with Erica, Jeff, and Elizabeth (first meal of my busy day might I add)
7:00pm-now - computer, music, and phone time.

Now for a random note to end things on: I can't say the Lords prayer without singing it after listening to Jon Foreman's "Your Love is Strong". We will see if I can control myself Sunday when I go to church with Jeff.

New Experience: Men and Women in robes

So.....Sunday I had a new experience. It sounds weird referring to church that way, but I never had to concentrate so hard in a building of worship. Someone from the dorm invited to come to their Episcopalian church. I knew there were differences in it from the non-traditional churchs and the Methodist one I have tried in Charleston, but I was still excited to worship with a group of people that do things a little different. I don't think I did it right though. Here are the list of things I screwed up:

1. Not bowing to the priest as he entered because I was too busy trying to catch up on the Processional Hymn (#76 to be specific).

2. Turned to the wrong page in the prayer book for the Baptism. (For some reason it was easier to navigate the Methodist books in the pews)

3. Almost frowned during communion when I realized it was real wine. (That stuff taste like Nite Qyuil)

4. Lets not forget the number of times I missed the cross thing with the hands.

So I wasn't so culturally graceful in this transition, but nevertheless I still love God and appreciated the experience worshiping with his fellow conservative followers. I just wish I could have focused on God a little more instead of multi-tasking. It is probably I lot easier once you learn everything in advance. Now for the things I did enjoy:

1. The beautiful architecture (There were stained glass windows and a courtyard. It was very prestigious and majestical.)

2. The choir was good in a traditional since. (hard to follow though)

3. Since their were a number of wise ones (old people) it was nice to see the candle boys and the one that carries the book above his head. (It's nice not being the only young one)

4. The baptism was funny. The priest slashed water on a baby and it cried. That's always entertaining. (Just for the record, I wasn't the only one laughing)

5. There were women priest too! (They wear the robes and everything too. It was unique for the conservative church experience.)

6. I think I feel more connect with people of this denomination now. I can relate to them, and understand their viewpoint on Christianity. (I think the point of the experience was to experience God in a different way, but I'll have to work on that. As I said, I had a lot of concentrating planned out for me.)

Soon I will be back in Savannah, where I will be welcomed by electric guitars, young people, a pastor that wears jeans, converses, and a button down shirt. Thats right, lateChurch. I am not against new experiences. I'm all about worshiping with all of God's people which is why I am so strongly non-denominational, but I need to worship God in my way now. I want to be able to focus on Him and not "the experience". Maybe with a couple more months of trying these different churches I will feel comfortable enough to worship God in their art forms. As for doctrine and differing beliefs, I see myself as a barrier breaker. I know what I believe, and I think the biggest thing Christianity needs to do before we address this is to open towards one another and fully aware each other. Once we are comfortable we can pray about the right way of leading others to God. Regardless of what we do people can still find God, but I would like the Church not to be the reason they loose faith in Him. So lets mend our wounds in the infastructure by mending our wounds with each other. How would we do this you may ask?

answer: Tearing down the walls of division. Lets make the parts of God's body work together again. Go check out some of your counterparts and find out how they work because they are affecting YOU too!

1 Corinthians 12:26 "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."

Spiders

Yesterday I was tired in everyway possible. My mind was tire, my body was tired, my hands were tire, my feet were tired, my patience was tired, my kindness was tired, and most tragically my love was tired. But of course it's me so no one can even tell. I always appear in tack to the public world, but I need a reboot soon or I'm going to fall apart in front of everyone. I'm struggling the most with caring about/loving other people. I'm to the point where I want to shout "WHAT ABOUT ME". Of course I know that sounds ridiculous since the world doesn't revolve around me. So I wasn't very thrilled on the inside about the events that happened yesterday: getting repeatedly attacked by spiders!! (Of course this is metaphorical)

spider #1: A repulsive tarantula

So I was just innocently finishing some Christmas shopping when it crawled towards me admiring my beauty. Stupid insect, didn't it know that I didn't want to be bothered. But, no it insist on getting in my way and staying there for I while. I politely sent it off and let out my fustration under a nearby tree. There is nothing worse than unwanted company, and I know that I'm tired when I'm rude enough to voice that opinion. I didn't even stop to get an understanding of the creature; didn't extend a kind hand or say a little prayer for it. Nope my poor little heart and its love are too tired for you to even matter to me, but deep down somewhere I would have love to have viewed You through God's eyes in a loving manner. It is a shame. My love for people should be consistant not waivering. God's love for me doesn't waiver, and I'm suppose to portray his love to others--you know that whole shine a light thing, but I must admit today I was being the perfect pretender because how I felt inside didn't match my actions. Needless to say there was another unfortunate spider that had to encounter and annoy me yesterday.

spider #2: A loopy daddy-long leg

I was getting some homework done when this one galloped across the table. All I have to say about that is that sometimes you run across things that don't behave like they are expected to behave! Yesterday I just felt like stepping on anything that looked like it could bite me, but I must thank God and self-control for keeping me from acting out this aggression. These bugs did no real harm to me, so I should have felt more tolerant towards them.

........And then the Rainbow

So today I took a test, scrapped together a project, made three trips to the library, and smiled. That's right, it was a great day--the last day of the last full week of classes ( : So let me give some highlights of this excitement:

1. Made an A on a test
2. The door opened behind me
3. Intervarsity
4. Small chat
5. Smoothie
6. Harry Potter
7. Some love from the family

Well if it isn't obvious, I am most excited about #2 (Of course all of the others always make me happy, but they happen more regularly than 2). Today when the door opened behind me, I realized that God was answering one of my prayers. But of course when God does something He has to go above and beyond. He not only answered that prayer, but gave me reassurance about other things I prayed about when I went to Intervarsity. So basically the door opened and my name was called before I could realize that I was being met half-way. So now that my prayers are answered, now what? For the time being, I'll just go on my happy way until something of real interest happens in my life.

Random Rain

While there was nothing random about the rain that fell today, the hype about its power was. So, out of no where we get this alert that there will be terrible weather some time in the day. I can say that I was personally confused since it just looked like the normal rainy whether sky, but as I sit here at the computer I realize that today's weather can be a metaphor for life. Here it is: What looks and feels harmless can be dangerous. While I still laugh at the danger of our little drizzle that we had today, I realized that I could possibly have dangerous rain drops in my life. What I was expecting to come in the form of an elaborate thunder storm, came in gradual flooding. Maybe I think life is fine because I don't see obvious danger. If I didn't recognize this sooner, I would be drowning in rain while expecting lightening.

So what the heck am I talking about. Well it is the cloud of smoke that has been in my life lately. This fog is so light and seems like it could soon disperse--like nothing to worry about at all. I sit enterained waiting for the good particles to separate and the cloud to dissapear, but the thing with gases is that you never know what is going to bond to what and what you will get after that. You only hope for the best until you are choking on carbon monoixde. Today I realized that I just might not be breathing oxgyen. Sure you can't get through life without breathing other elements, but I could be getting an extra dose of dangerous gas that I might not even have seen coming. It is not what I see that can hurt me, but what I can't see.



Dear God, open my eyes.